I don’t know how…

… to act as I’m interested.

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I can talk to guy, but not in French, I can be flirty, but not in French. I do meet guys from time to time, but we end up good friends, just because I cannot be flirty in French and most of them just don’t speak English or don’t want to when they come back home and that’s legit. So, I have a lot of “Men friends” which isn’t a bad thing at all, it’s just that I’m not at the right place.

I would like to go out with someone who won’t mind making the extra step to help me be who I am, and not thinking about what I want to say before I actually say it. I want someone who understands my need to sometimes express myself in a language I can express what I really want to.

Is it so unusual to have a preference to a language the people around you are not interested in, to feel this language as it was rushing through your veins? This is a bit awkward… living in a country where you can’t find someone with the same sense of humor you have because you can play with words, but… not in French…

I feel like I’m misplaced. I feel like I’m not even from here. I just feel the need to escape this place, but I can’t. I have responsibilities.

XoXo

Ems

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